Herbert Levine, the former superintendent of Salem schools, knows firsthand what drug abuse can do to a family. Levine nearly lost his son Joel to an OxyContin addiction.
Now retired, Levine teaches drug prevention strategies and has helped found three recovery schools. Levine’s experience with his son — who has been sober seven years and is a teacher at Everett High School — has convinced him that the best way to keep your kid sober is to take a very hard line.
Herbert Levine, the former superintendent of Salem schools, knows firsthand what drug abuse can do to a family. Levine nearly lost his son Joel to an OxyContin addiction.
Yesterday, Levine applauded Swampscott school officials for requiring parents to attend a meeting about the increasing drug and alcohol problem at Swampscott High School.
“If they did anything else, they would be neglecting their jobs,” Levine said.
However, drug prevention starts in the home. What can parents do? That’s a question with a lot of answers.
Now retired, Levine teaches drug prevention strategies and has helped found three recovery schools. Levine’s experience with his son — who has been sober seven years and is a teacher at Everett High School — has convinced him that the best way to keep your kid sober is to take a very hard line.
“We’re not aggressive enough as parents. We give too much faith and too much trust,” Levine said. “How much trust does a 14-year-old need? How much do they deserve? It is our responsibility to be active in their lives.”
According to Levine, that means feeling free to check in drawers, under mattresses, log into your kids’ Facebook page and even drug test at home.
While some may be surprised by it, three out of the four counselors and administrators interviewed for this story advocated for home drug testing.
“I am a huge fan of drug testing,” said Michelle Lipinski, the principal of the North Shore Recovery High School in Beverly, a school for students struggling with drug addiction. “Make (the test) visible and tell them, ‘Listen, this is what will happen (if you test positive).’ Don’t list the consequences after the fact.”
Heather Steckel, a school adjustment counselor at Peabody High, said testing is really the only way to know if your child is using.
“Kids tend not to be honest about drug or alcohol abuse, or downplay it. … (Drug testing) is needed in order to know what’s really going on,” she said. “Sure, your kids will be upset and hate you for a while, but we’re talking about their future.”
Dr. Michael Levy, the vice president of clinical services at CAB Health & Recovery Services, advocates a different approach. Drug testing your child goes a little too far for his taste, he said.
“Do you need a scale to tell if you are overweight?” he asked. Testing “could backfire, and it’s very intrusive. If you have a good relationship with your kid, there’s no reason to do it, really. It sets a different dynamic.”
The single most important thing you can do to prevent your kid from using drugs is to build a strong relationship early on, Levy said.
“Research shows that a quality relationship with your kids is the most important factor to preventing drug use,” he said. “Know what your kids are doing, know who their friends are, involve yourself in their lives. Actually enjoy spending time together.”
Kids who feel supported are much less likely to abuse drugs, he said.
“I encourage parents to have open dialogue. (Things like), ‘Do you see a lot of drugs at school? How do you feel about it? I just want to let you know I’m open to hearing about it.’ That dialogue should happen early in seventh and eighth grade. Once a kid is in 10th or 11th grade, it’s too late to do prevention,” Levy said.
Nobody disputed that good relationships are essential, but for Levine, that approach doesn’t go far enough.
“Would you rather find your kid dead one morning? It’s a terrible thing to say, but think about that,” he said. “There will be short-term resentment, but you have to choose as a parent to fight that fight. It’s not easy.”
Steckel agrees.
“Parents are afraid to upset their kids, but parents can’t try to be friends,” she said. “That’s a problem in terms of prevention.”
Warning signs
The unnerving truth is, no matter how diligent, how strong a relationship or how innocent you think your child is, there’s no guarantee when it comes to drugs.
“Even with good, solid parental involvement, can problems happen? Yes,” Levy said.
And addiction doesn’t discriminate.
“The kids (at North Shore Recovery High School) come from prep schools, some have parents who are doctors and attorneys. Some of the kids are homeless,” Lipinski said. “Drug addiction really knocks down all barriers.”
Aside from finding drugs, paraphernalia, or your child telling you, there’s no perfect science for figuring out if your kid has a problem, Levy said. The best way to tell is by his or her behavior. Signs include a sudden drop in grades; depression; and changes in friends, eating patterns, sleeping patterns, likes and interests, relationships, and the like.
If you do find out your child is using drugs, being passive is the worst route to take.
“We made every mistake parents can make. We went into deference mode and denial and protecting the family name,” Levine said about his son’s addiction. “We kept doing that until we realized how in trouble (Joel) was.”
The best policy, everyone agreed, is to be frank and upfront.
“Confront them in a loving, supportive way,” Levy said.
And seek professional help — the experts are there to be used.
“I wish parents would reach out to us more as a resource,” Lipinski said. “There’s no stigma. Just call and say, ‘I have a kid who …’ People tend to go online, but there is a lot of bad info out there. Let us help you.”
https://www.salemnews.com/local/x325561118/Experts-give-tips-to-prevent-youths-from-using-drugs